Will I be forgotten in the end? No friends to share, no family to call?
At least I will have these memories.
Whatever that will happen, just remember that right now everything’s all right.
January 2012
5 posts
You don't know who I really am!, I don't even know who I really am!
I know it's silly, but I don't want to go to sleep because my dreams are so compelling I never want to wake up.
What’s wrong with that? Well, I stop doing things to keep dreaming, but in the end they are meaningless until you wake up and make them true.
If I don't regret any decisions I've made. Why do I feel like shit?
So here I am being silly, feeling like shit, and alone.
Again.
December 2011
14 posts
This ain't what I expected from life.
[But I’m not sure what I did expect from it,
in the first place.]
If I had you, I would never let you go.
If I owned you I would be dissapointed.
But if you let me have you I would be the happiest person alive.
What am I doing with my life, pretending to be what I no longer am.
You haven't seen me down. You have no idea how down I get.
This? This is just me with some tears on my face, with an upside-down smile. Just that. I’m not crying at all, I’m not screaming, I don’t feel despair, I don’t feel fucked up, I don’t curse to everything I think of, and I have my eyes open. I know I going through hell when I can’t make myself open my eyes. So now, so this, believe me, it’s nothing. Nothing at all.
I don't know what I'm doing wondering around, watching the sky turn pitch black.
It's not your fault to be the way you are. It's mine because I didn't want to acknowledge that you aren't a superman.
Let's just pretend this ain't real.
Oh, happiness why can’t you return as easy?
I want to forget. I want to not know. Knowledge, is it power or is it a curse?
YOU CAN GO TO FREAKING HELL!!
You can shit shit shit shit kajnfa; AA! I don’t want you to die, but SHIT! just SHIT! damn all these feelings! Damn them all!! Fuck everything!
El problema no son ellos. El problema es que yo les confié demasiado.
The problem is not them. The problem is that I trusted them too much.
I will not let you do this to me.
You will not destroy my life. You will not take my dreams and hopes. No! I forbid it! I will fight you! I swear I will fight you! I love you, oh you know I love. So please don’t do this to me. Don’t make me. You know I will, so please, for God’s sake, stop. Just stop.
Maybe, and possible, I am wrong.
Maybe, and possible, he’s right.
But certainly, and definitively, I am the one who decides.
Not him, not anyone. But me.
How special that’s sounds!
And it may be, though.
‘Cause it’s my life of which I’m talking ‘bout.
My own little and unimportant verve source
[but mine nonetheless].
So I will repeat myself this only once,
‘cause you might find the thought hard to understand.
I will decide!
what to do with my life.
I will decide!
my future and my past.
I will decide!
Might be wrong, might be right.
I will decide!
nonchalant, I’m saying good bye!
Oh, I'm falling, falling for you.
And I’m afraid, I don’t know you.
But you seem rather nice, so I hope you won’t hurt my smile.
That moment when you realize you got to change.
Because the person you are right now isn’t living up your expectations.
November 2011
3 posts
Why? You ask: Why?
Because you didn’t give me another option. That’s fucking why.
